Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Gratitude: Anne Giles' Observations

Anne Giles
Today I am grateful for:

Anne Giles and her insights about her recovery from alcoholism.

Anne has been writing a blog (here) that I hope she will turn into a book soon. Her observations on her fall and subsequent rise are telling, meaningful and a deep learning experience for me.

Take, for example, this from today's post: "Do you want to be right or do you want to be close? ... Some people engage in conflict with me to get their one-up needs met by attempting to put me one-down and in the wrong. Some people engage in conflict with me to overcome a frustrating distance between us. I am getting better at discerning--or even asking directly about--the other person's motivation when initiating conflict."

That is a specific circumstance I have faced of late (and I have more than 20 years' sobriety, so it doesn't stop; in fact, it becomes far more complex the clearer our minds become) and I have felt like I was on an island with it. The constant drum of criticism--what I'm feeling--does not always equate with what is being said. It, like so much else, is a matter of interpretation--my interpretation.

This and many other insights make me grateful for my friend, Anne.


  1. This might give some additional insight into the differences between personalities that is often at the root of apparent conflicts: http://wp.me/p2Xa11-2sJ I found it very helpful in understanding my own motivations and how they can be intrusive to people of different personality types.