Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Way God Intended It

If God had intended that we should carve turkeys and hams on feast days, he would have given us sharper fingernails. And he would have removed the sensual element in stripping the warm meat from the steaming bones with our fingers and stuffing it whole into our watering mouths.

That's probably my favorite moment of any feast day, especially Thanksgiving. Because I've cooked most of the Thanksgiving day birds and hams I've eaten in my life, I have been in the especially enviable position of removing them from the oven and putting my eager fingers on the nearest corner squeezing and pulling. It's the natural way, the way I envision Neanderthals eating their birds, their pigs. It's probably how humans learned to smile.

Here is me today, stripping a ham. Wanna bite?

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