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Lincoln (in circle) at Gettysburg three hours before his speech. |
The piece below (from
here) is an example of the editing a new computer program would do to the Gettysburg Address. It is, of course, absurd, overbearing, without initiative or creativity and, well, a whole like an 11th grade English teacher who's attempting to steal a student's voice.
It really boils my bodily fluids, more because of what it says about editors than what it says about writers. This speech has been called--by people who know what they're talking about--"perfect."
Here's what the program did to perfection:
Four score and seven [EIGHTY-SEVEN] years ago our
fathersANCESTORS
is preferable] brought forth on [ONE PART OF] this continent, a new
nation, conceived in Liberty [NO NEED TO CAPITALIZE], and dedicated
[WHAT’S YOUR SOURCE FOR THIS?] to the proposition that all
men [PEOPLE] are created equal.
Now
[CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT THIS TIME REFERENCE? WHEN EXACTLY IS
NOW?] we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation,
or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are
met
[ASSEMBLED] on a great battle-field [NO HYPHEN IN WEBSTER’S NEW WORLD
FOURTH EDITION] of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that
field
, [EXTRANEOUS COMMA] as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives
that [IN ORDER] that [SUCH A] nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this
.
But, in
a larger
[ANOTHER] sense, we can not dedicate* — we can not consecrate* — we can
not hallow* — this ground.[*REPETITIVE LANGUAGE] The brave men, living
and dead, who struggled here, have [ALREADY] consecrated it, far above
our
poor [MORE LIMITED] power to add or detract. The
world will little note, nor long remember [THIS IS CONJECTURE] what we
say here, but it
can [MAY] never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work
which [THAT] they who fought here have
thus far
so nobly advanced. It is[,] rather[,] for us to be here dedicated to
the great task remaining before us — [A COLON IS PREFERABLE TO A DASH]
that from these honored dead [AND WOUNDED] we take increased devotion to
that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that
we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain —
that this nation
, under God, shall have a
new birth
[CONTINUATION] of freedom — and that government of the people*, by the
people*, for the people* [*REPETITIVE LANGUAGE], shall not perish from
the earth.
Grade: C-.
General comment: Too short.
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