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Lincoln (in circle) at Gettysburg three hours before his speech. |
The piece below (from
here) is an example of the editing a new computer program would do to the Gettysburg Address. It is, of course, absurd, overbearing, without initiative or creativity and, well, a whole like an 11th grade English teacher who's attempting to steal a student's voice.
It really boils my bodily fluids, more because of what it says about editors than what it says about writers. This speech has been called--by people who know what they're talking about--"perfect."
Here's what the program did to perfection:
Four score and seven [EIGHTY-SEVEN] years ago our
fathersANCESTORS
is preferable] brought forth on [ONE PART OF] this continent, a new
nation, conceived in Liberty [NO NEED TO CAPITALIZE], and dedicated
[WHAT’S YOUR SOURCE FOR THIS?] to the proposition that all
men [PEOPLE] are created equal.
Now
[CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT THIS TIME REFERENCE? WHEN EXACTLY IS
NOW?] we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation,
or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are
met
[ASSEMBLED] on a great battle-field [NO HYPHEN IN WEBSTER’S NEW WORLD
FOURTH EDITION] of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that
field
, [EXTRANEOUS COMMA] as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives
that [IN ORDER] that [SUCH A] nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this
.
But, in
a larger
[ANOTHER] sense, we can not dedicate* — we can not consecrate* — we can
not hallow* — this ground.[*REPETITIVE LANGUAGE] The brave men, living
and dead, who struggled here, have [ALREADY] consecrated it, far above
our
poor [MORE LIMITED] power to add or detract. The
world will little note, nor long remember [THIS IS CONJECTURE] what we
say here, but it
can [MAY] never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work
which [THAT] they who fought here have
thus far
so nobly advanced. It is[,] rather[,] for us to be here dedicated to
the great task remaining before us — [A COLON IS PREFERABLE TO A DASH]
that from these honored dead [AND WOUNDED] we take increased devotion to
that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that
we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain —
that this nation
, under God, shall have a
new birth
[CONTINUATION] of freedom — and that government of the people*, by the
people*, for the people* [*REPETITIVE LANGUAGE], shall not perish from
the earth.
Grade: C-.
General comment: Too short.
شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
ReplyDeleteشركة نقل عفش بجدة
شركة نقل العفش بالمدينة المنورة
نقل العفش بالرياض
نقل عفش بالدمام
شركات نقل اثاث بالدمام
شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر
شركة نقل عفش بجدة
شركة غسيل مسابح بالدمام