I want to be in a position to propose a new law or even city ordinance:
Television can't show Woody Allen movies on days when football is being played. Better still, Woody Allen movies can't be shown on the big screen TV in the main room of the house during football season. Oh, hell, let's just go whole hog on this one: Woody Allen Movies must be shown on television screens of 20 inches or less. At any time, not just during football season.
I'm sitting here waiting to get the big-screen TV back so I can watch Carson Newman play Grand Valley State or Florida-'Bama or Fresno State and whoever it played ... anybody ... in a football game and Woody Allen is telling me about his analyst and his neurosis and ... oh, you know. I'm not even certain which movie, since they're all basically the same: Woody gets girl, Woody gets another girl, Woody goes to therapy, Woody gets another girl, Woody goes back to therapy, Woody acts glib, Everybody else acts glib ... And it's driving me nuts. I already went out to the kitchen to make pimento cheese, then to throw together some vegetable soup. Now I'm thinking about making mayonnaise and humus.