Saturday, May 21, 2011

A Wish for Your Last Day on Earth

(Update: We didn't die.)

Since today marks the official End of the World, I want to get an early start in wishing you all a Happy Eternity.

Here's to:
  • great food in an all-you-can-because-you-won't-get-fat format, 
  • endless vacations to tropical islands with dancing girls and nobody else, 
  • families that don't fight, 
  • cars that don't break, 
  • dogs that don't bark, 
  • cats that don't pee on everything, 
  • exercise that makes you high,
  • diet that fills you with great taste and texture and just the number of calories you need,
  • pants and shoes that fit,
  • houses with dry basements, 
  • neighbors who mow your yard for you,
  • politicians who are at least as smart as the people who elected them,
  • an endless supply of good hair days, 
  • eyes that don't need glasses,
  • favorite teams that win it all with last second dramatics, 
  • water that is sweet and air that smells of kudzu flowers, 
  • rainy days when you want them, 
  • good local theater, 
  • government that serves the people and not the corporations, 
  • people who do the right things for the right reasons, 
  • home-grown energy that doesn't pollute heaven,
  • spirituality instead of religion, 
  • a good sense of humor,
  • people who love you all the time,
  • and ripe watermelon.

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